Guest Book - SANDS SA

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Date: 2010-08-26 18:45:12

Name: Cat

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Location: Whyalla

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I had a d&c (\'evac\') only two days ago so I\'m still very emotionally raw and was 8.5 weeks pregnant on Wednesday. A week previously we were told the baby\'s heart had stopped beating (despite it being seen at 5 weeks) and the baby had died perhaps a week prior (so by last Wed it hadn\'t been alive for around 2 weeks). I had some bleeding but no clots or tissue.

I am in an angry stage which began when I checked into admissions at the local country hospital to have my evac performed by the wonderful obstetrician (thank goodness for her!). The admissions staff didn\'t lower their voices or show any sensitivity when announcing \"she\'s here for a missed abortion\" - they said this three times in a the space of a few minutes. Their tones showed no inflection of understanding or care. A half full waiting area was behind me with other patients within earshot. I am in a country town (Whyalla) where everyone knows everyone and I\'m a teacher so that makes it even worse as I am known by around a few hundred children and their families. I didn\'t say anything immediately, but composed myself a few minutes later and went back and asked them whether they were trained in being sensitive with these matter and did they in fact realise I was here for a missed miscarriage, which means my baby has died but is still inside of me. I said I understood that they need to know why I am here being admitted, but surely there are more stringent privacy protocols they can follow when it is due to pregnancy loss???? The girl apologised profusely and explained she was new and didn\'t realised. I filled out a complaint form and have still not heard back from the hospital. I sit here sad and angry wondering if I should ring them to follow up on it? I\'m unsure if this will be helpful at this early stage.

I am primarily angry with the way the local GP dealt with my diagnosis on miscarriage and have spent all morning googling the appropriate conduct for a GP in regards to this - I haven\'t found anything as of yet. Last week I went to bed with a little bright red blood and some occasional pains. I awoke early at 6am to more blood and woke up my partner and asked him to take me to the casualty department at our hospital, 5 minutes away. We were referred back to a local GP, underwent a transvaginal ultrasound and bloodwork tested for my beta HCG. At noon that day, the GP informed us the baby\'s heartbeat had stopped at 6 weeks (I was 7 and a half weeks along) and I had an \"incomplete miscarriage\". Please note an internal exam had NEVER been performed by any doctor along the way. My cervix was never checked. The GP said to rest for the next few days and I could return to work by Monday. I was given NO brochures on miscarriage and the process of whether to have a D&C versus miscarrying naturally was NEVER explained. I was also not offered a prescription for any pain killers nor advised I should take any. It was never discussed what the actual miscarriage would feel like or look like and I went home unaware of how to proceed but emotionally numb, crying and shattered. I bled on an off for the Wednesday to Sunday but by Monday morning (due to return to work) the bleeding had tapered off. By recess time I went to the toilet and noticed bright red blood and some stringy tissue again. I was confused. I rang the local obstetrician\'s receptionist (I had an appointment in 3 weeks time which was the first available). I asked if I could be squeezed in as I was told I was having a miscarriage, not given any advice on how to proceed and told I could go back to work. I asked I wasn\'t sure how appropriate it was for me to be at work???

Long story short: the obstetrician did an internal exam and ultrasound on wonky old machine she had (quite unclear picture) and determined I\'d had a missed miscarriage. My beta HCG had still risen 5,000 in 7 days, however this is not unheard of. My body obviously still believed the baby to be alive since it was intact and the gestational sac still fully formed. She and I discussed options but we both felt an evac procedure was the best way to avoid a painful miscarriage and also let my body and mind begin to heal.

Do you or others have stories of the doctors misconducting themselves and showing no respect or dignity for women undergoing early miscarriages? I felt him totally dismissive. I am half tempted to book in to see him today and ask him about my concerns!
Thank you for posting your stories.

Date: 2010-08-07 03:51:27

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Date: 2010-08-04 05:47:49

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Date: 2010-07-15 01:49:55

Name: Kathryn

Email: katiestewart@y7mail.com

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Referred by: Professional
Location: Adelaide, SA

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I had had four miscarriages by the time I was 22. My first two were very early on, at 6 and 9 weeks. My third was at 12 weeks. When the spotting started with this one, I went to the hospital and was advised that I was having a miscarriage and that I could either do it there or at home, that there was nothing that could be done.
With my fourth pregnancy, I made it to 17 and a half weeks before things went wrong. My waters broke, so my husband and I made the oh so familiar trip to the emergency room. I was admitted to hospital, where the nurse was able to find my baby\'s heartbeat beating nice and strongly. I was told the best thing I could do was to go to sleep and rest, so I went to sleep that night on the ward to the sound of babies being soothed by their mothers. When I woke up in the morning, the nurse was unable to find my baby\'s heartbeat - he had died while I was sleeping. The next thing was that I was being advised I would need to deliver my baby. The thing that made me the angriest was that they kept referring to what had happened as a \'spontaneous abortion\'. I didnt want them using the word abortion - to me, the word abortion means choice, I had no choice in what was happening. So that night, I was wheeled in to the delivery suite to deliver my baby boy that would never breath, cry or sleep in my arms.
It wasnt until my 5th pregancy that I was able to convince the hospital that something was wrong, surely 4 miscarriages couldnt just be ignored?? I was finally referred to the high risk pregnancy section where it was determined that I had a t-shaped uterus and a weak cervix. 4 babies had to be miscarried before this was found?! To try to prevent history from repeating itself, my cervix was stitched shut and I was having weekly checkups and scans.
At 5 months, I was told to give up work and go on bed rest as the pressure on my cervix was increasing. So I did this. At 31 weeks however, my waters broke. We went to hospital (again), and the stitches were removed in preparation for the early delivery of our baby. However, he decided to hang around for another couple of weeks! At 35 weeks, after 4 weeks in hospital, I delivered by beautiful baby boy 5 weeks early. He is now a happy and healthy 6 and a half year old and we couldnt possibly be happier. It is only now, over 7 and a half years later, that we are starting to deal with our previous losses and the impacts these have had on us, especially on our marriage.

To all of those parents that have lost babies, my heart goes out to you. If anyone has had similar experiences and would like to talk, feel free to email me.

To the four babies that we lost, we love you dearly and think about you all of the time. xx

Date: 2010-03-23 02:02:02

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Date: 2010-03-18 20:00:21

Name: LMB

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Referred by: Friend
Location: SA

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RIP Our precious peaceful baby Hunter ~ Feb 5th 2010

My eldest daughter is 7yrs old and I had two miscarriages before her making this my fourth pregnancy. It was our first together though my partner also has children from a previous relationship. At first I was slightly worried but my pregnancy with Hunter was a breeze. No morning sickness, everything progressing normally and happily.
I had very limited antenatal appointments as I was not considered high risk and all scans and tests were average. We were thrilled when we found out it was a boy at 20wks. He was really active and soon made his presence known. The older kids were all excited to be having a baby brother and we often talked about him.
As I grew larger I was proud to show my big belly for a kick or roll to be seen and it was only when I hit 30wks that minor problems started. I developed major cankles with my feet swelling to twice their normal size which I was assured was normal due to the sweltering summer heat and my age, which apparently 33 is considered old for pregnancy?! My blood pressure was fine so nothing to be concerned about. Anyway we plodded on and reached our 34wk checkup. The midwife advised my iron levels were slightly low but we listened to Hunters heartbeat and she had a feel around and told us he was fine.
Over the next two weeks my feet, hands and face swelled more and I got tired more often but put it down to late pregnancy and wasnt too concerned. We began preparing the baby room and moved all the children around to accommodate Hunters arrival. We were all very excited.
Then at our 36wk check our world fell apart. The midwife could not find a heartbeat and I knew our baby boy was already dead. The hospital staff were very good ushering us to a private room. They sent in the doctor to tell us our options and arrange for Hunters birth which we booked for the next morning. We went home and our family rallied around us as we tried to process what was to come. My head was spinning and I was totally petrified but just tried to think practically to get through what was the hardest day of our lives.
On Friday 5th Feb 2010 I was induced and gave birth to my precious peaceful baby Hunter at 7.12pm. There are many words to describe how I felt that day but mostly it was the most encompassing feeling of deep sadness and loss Ive ever known. Hunter was a beautiful little cherub and it filled me with both emotional and physical pain to let him go. We took pictures and spent some time with him before we went home with aching hearts and empty arms. I couldnt bear to stay in the hospital and see the other mums with their healthy living babies whilst I had lost mine.
We could never really have been prepared for having a stillborn baby or the events that occur after wards. We blindly tried to make arrangements and surprisingly the most helpful advice we received was from the funeral directors which we really appreciated. We had Hunter cremated and took his ashes home. His older sisters and brother were all sad and grieving with us so we involved them by getting them to make cards for Hunter to help express their feelings. We also held a balloon ceremony with all our family in a park which helped our children and our families greatly. It was very helpful to us having support from family and friends who visited, sent flowers and cards and just popped in for cuppas and a chat.
It has been six weeks today since Hunter died and I have taken many things from our time together. With the heaviest of hearts and tear stained eyes I try and remind myself everyday that Hunter was a special gift who taught me to appreciate what I have and never take my family for granted. Although our hearts are broken we just added to our lives the wonderful brief moments and long lasting precious memory of our son Hunter.

Date: 2010-02-17 21:27:08

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Date: 2009-12-30 14:17:52

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Date: 2009-12-04 15:01:09

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Date: 2009-12-03 13:17:07

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